by Tim Sendra
Kurt Cobain made a lot of mistakes in his life but loving the Vaselines was not one of them. Nirvana covered one of their songs for their MTV Unplugged session, two other covers show up on the Incesticide record and as Kurt might tell you if he were alive today, from 1986 to 1989 the Vaselines were the best pop band on the planet. Sub Pop was kind enough to cash in on the Nirvana connection and on The Way of the Vaselines: A Complete History, release everything the Vaselines recorded. From the stomping, singalong opener &Son of a Gun& to the distorted and nasty &Let's Get Ugly& 17 tracks later, this collection is the Holy Grail of indie pop music. It's unfailingly amateurish, almost completely silly, occasionally quite perverted, and always about sex. The music has the simplicity and ear-grabbing melodies of the best bubblegum, the loud and semi-competent guitars of punk, and some of the attitude and lo-fi sound of the noise rock scenesters like the Jesus & Mary Chain. Throw in a bunch of religion and add simplistic choruses that will have you singing along the first time you hear the songs (as well as the thousandth) and you've got just about all the bases covered. It's near impossible to pick any songs as standouts since they are all so first-rate. A few moments that stand out though are Frances McKee's sweet schoolgirl vocal on &Molly's Lips& (she and co-leader Eugene Kelly both have great voices with a fleeting acquaintance to pitch but filled with humor, attitude, and style), the amazing lyrics to &Sex Sux (Amen)& including the immortal line &Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost/I'm the Sacred Host with the most,& the rare serious beauty of &Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam,& the meows on &Monsterpussy,& the very rude bicycle horn on &Molly's Lips,& and the loose vocal harmonies on &Lovecraft.& The whole of their recorded output is lousy with one amazing moment after another. If by some strange kink of fate you are reading this and don't already own this CD, you have to get it. You've probably heard that a million times, but if you've never believed it before, please believe it now. You need the hilarious beauty of the Vaselines in your life and this CD gives it to you in its complete glory.